Rain Rain Rain...

Was caught in the rain this morning so i camped in a Coffee Bean with my favorite unflavored latte.

Friendly greetings from the Barista. I always like a good morning greeting. really make your day.

"Raining so badly... I'm taking a shelter here."

"It's good that you can take shelter in such a comfortable place when it rains! I take shelter at the express way when it rains. very uncomfortable!"

Yah. It reminds me. During the storms of life. We know we are in the comfortable and safe hands of God.

being totally stoned

Sometimes when u r stuck at a moment, stuck at a place, and when everything around you continue with their life and continue moving u just all together feel totally so stucked... And u really wish u can sit into something to take u further. sometimes i just want to disappear and dissolve into something or somewhere. and just disappear and hope that with the flick of your fingers ppl will just forget who u r. so totally feeling this way.

Fly Away

I don know why again... i don't feel like working. And i just want to fly away to some place. I am not depressed. But think i am BORED. plain bored.

Stepping into a new time table.

I am not sure whether i have done the right choice to continue working for my boss and reject the offer by CitiBank which come to think of it was actually a GOOD offer. But i just feel that it was the right thing to do. Hmmm. like what daryl said in cg, sometimes, certain relationship can't just be cut off like that. To be truthful, i don really trust the kind of offer which like what she said are likely to come to pass, but i feel that i trust in God. She wanted me to stay to help her in her promotion and etc.

Let me try the market again next year. I hope for a better job. Better Boss. Better prospects.

Oh... Anyways, i went night cycling and didn't fall!!! :)

BUT my butt is aching badly now...

And i need to sleep.

Take medication. nurse my flu and sore throat.

But i just wana blog.

When u go for an interview, do not fear, put on a nice outfit, and heel and go in God's confidence.

I went for CitiBank interview on Thurs. I was so scared at first. But i felt good actually. I was thinking oh no... Oh no... haven been to job interview for such a long long time... And i am so sick... But once i put on my formal clothes, wear my jacket, confidence came... :)

Look good Look good!!! i wana look good!

I feel so bimboish now... time to sleep time to sleep... :)

Go In God's Confidence

I simply love the Song of Solomon Bible Study and the Father's Day message... It makes me UNDERSTAND my walk with God, makes me understand the waiting, makes me walk in knowing, makes me walk with confidence...

Romans 8
³⁸ For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, ³⁹ nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Many of us grew up without experiencing real love from our parents. Hugs, kisses, words of assurance, time, touch... And sometimes it makes it difficult for us to understand the love of God for us coz in a sense the love of God is like a fatherly kind of love.

I fall under this too as i have always been away from my parents since 9. I have a father who is always busy and not around. Love was shown through gifts. And i learnt to be independant. And it caused me to have difficulties depending on God and people.

However, as I begin to slowly release and relax and trust people i become less controlling about things.

Yah, God's hands are not too short to bless. God's love and touch never far. I always remember how God touched me in Jurong West 7 years ago and i told God at that time "I don't really know u yet, but i will never leave you from today." It brings peace, u feel loved, u feel protected, u feel covered.

Time is Nature's Way of preventing everything from happening at once. And also that intention can be purified, character can be moulded, values can be shaped, skills sharpened.

"Success can bring you to a height your character cannot contain." - so well said. And nowadays i pray that God will mould me in such a way that when He bring me to His calling, i have the character and capacity to hold it.

Stop Coughing!

I am really tired actually but still using the net... trying to make myself very very tired so that i will sleep immediately once i go to bed.

Office work almost done.. i guess i can take MC tmr to nurse my sorethroat and flu!!!

YEA~~!!! :)

Rain Rain Rain

And finally it rained this morning! Was hanging around @ home waiting for the rain to stop... Thank God i have flexible working hours.

I went into my blog just now and looked at my main blog picture. It has 2 rows of trees and greeneries on both sides with a mini bus coming down the road... Oh... reminds me of the road trips in Indonesia... :)

Gonna find an Aussie picture - my next destination. Or mayb some diving picture first. :)

Still feeling sick with entire body aching. The fever seems to worsen... Time to go work! Work! Work! =_=

Cross Road

After holiday, now is time to think for my future. I'm at this cross road where i need to decide which job i wana go for... uhhhh.. Pray for me. Today in the office was all about clearing up my work... Think it will take me another 2 days! :)

Holiday!!!

Day 0 - At Changi Airport!

Outside our first dinner restaurant.

Yum Yum!!!! I want indo food, i want indo food!!!! Maybe i should marry an indonesian and be a tai tai... Willy, can u start to intro a few good indo guys to me? Or maybe can ask your parents.. Or mayb i should follow u and alan to indo endof this year...

The dinner spread. Willy's parents were so hospitable. His mum kept scooping food for me and alan i was wondering when is my place going to be empty... I was trying to avoid eating rice all throughout the trip but even indonesian way of cooking their rice is different!!! :)

Haha... Cam-whoring in the car.. I like the guys' expression at the back row. On our way to the shopping mall!All of us!

Yummmm Yummmm... Doughnuts! Another thing bout indo, you will always go for their bakery stuff. somehow their flour is altogether different! :)

Krispy Creme - America's Favourite!

Cam-whoring again... we can take pictures everywhere!

Day 1 - Breakfast before we hit the road!

Me and Xingni - This is the second "cell group trip" i went with her. :) I heart xingni! The animal lover.

Me and Keith. :) Anyways i had a 'fight' or rather misunderstanding with him before this trip. But i am glad we worked things out.

Another picture of the restaurant. They are using the plots of land to plant lemongrass or some kind of bedding for the roof of the huts. The "grass" will be tied up together and then dried up under the sun. Somehow it has this cooling effect when used to make roof for huts. :) I made up the stories myself actually. I think it is right. haha. someone told me bout the cooling effect thing though.

I like this shot somehow. :)

This is the place we had lunch! The small little huts are the place where people sat down on the floor like traditional ways... The effects on this picture is not really that good. You got to go there to have a "feel" of it!
Day 1 - First Lunch! Food Food Food.... I wana go back to indo!!!

Our Villa at Bandung outside the room where all the happenings happened! haha... This is outside the girls' room... During the night when i was sleeping i woke up coz the light was being switched on and off and i heard the door opening ans closing... and i actually woke up a few times coz of that. But i was either too lazy or sleepy or scared to check it out. I thought it was one of the girls or Keith came in to use the toilet. BUT.... it was "someone" else... Oooooo.... haunted villa!

Me :) I like the waving hand effect.

The dead volcano. strong sulphur smell coming from it. this is at Bandung.
Shopping around the dead volcano!! :) Nothing much. Indonesia is not really a shopping heaven but it is a nice place for relaxing, forgetting everything... etc.
All of us... After visiting the dogs... There are people using the villas to do dog breeding and i think i can be a better dog breeder coz i will be more gentle with them.
Day 2 - Wakey Wakey!!! Morning walk...

Day 3 - Is this day 3? I this this is our breakfast before we hit the road to send Erika to the airport and after that the shopping malls! My favourite kind of noodles. Willy's dad was saying tat the couples selling the noodles are so rich that thy have been t most places around the world!!! I wana sell noodles in indo.... haha...

Day 4 - Yeap! Food again! We are always on the road and eating good food. This is What we normally eat. good? I love the corn thing. And i eat fish like never before in indo. But i love it coz fish is my favourite kind of meat. :)

Baby zoo, baby zoo, i love all the baby animals!!! wooo!!!
and i like this shot. alan looks funny - his new stunt. willy looks usual. Me and Xingni put up a funny face and keith with his boring face... haha!
Trying to get onto the elephant...I wore this checkered in an attempt to look like one of the safaru people. The shits from the elephat were so HUGE they look like coconuts... The gloriously shitted their gloriously huge shits in front of us. At first i was wondering where were all these coconuts falling from till i seen them falling from one of the elephants' butt... haha!!!
Me and the all sad lion... I wana bring him home... I believe i will be a better zookeeper.

This is the thingy all of all jump on!! heh... i wana have this at home next time!!! together with swing!!!
I love this photo. All of us on swings..

Willy's very pretty little cousin... I think she is one of the prettiest little girl i seen! And she has beautiful personality and good mannerism.
Alan's team!!! - Alan, Serene, Willy's parents. We were joking at how "fake" Alan was... He was obviously not exicited by the pretty calm river but as usual, he always look best, all exicted, all enjoying, all happy, all interesting on photographs.. =_=
My Team!!!! made up of Me, Xingni, Willy and Keith. I love river rafting but it would be nicer and more exciting if the water level was higher. I wanna do river rafting in Aussie!

Day 5 - It's dinner time @ Willy's house! This is actually one of the dinners i enjoyed the most coz i feel some homely. And there is my fav tehbotol (the tea with the zoo smell as how Xingni puts it to be). And not forgetting the indo chili sauce... and many more. How i wished i can stuff more food down my tummy. :)

The "family photo" after dinner. No one's really looking into the camera but somehow i love this photo. :) We should have been the one taking pictures but wily insisted that he wanted to be the cameraman.

Bye bye Indonesia! I really enjoyed myself... Although i came back with sore throat, horrible flu and fever, my sickness does help me to lose some weight! :) haha...

Happy Birthday Alan Chan!!!

went Kushinbo to celeb Alan's birthday... It was awesome i had a great time. Was actually taking my break from work for first 2 weeks of this month and i really enjoyed myself... But gotta start watching my diet.

Heart in the Throat

In a quest to keep myself floating, I tried to ask people out with me. First i tried Huimin but she wants to go dinner with Eri and Honey lemon. Then i tried rz and she agreed to go coffee with me.. Thank you. i really appreciate it... :) And i have alan who is going to accompany me to this Aussie education fair. Sometimes u need people to push u forward.

And i went jogging.

And i took my dinner.

And i packed my schedule for the next few days.

And i tried calling Jen in Aussie and i went into the mail box for 3 times with the all familiar voice."Hi, Jennifer here! I will call you back as soon as possible. Thanks!" Think Jennifer has this soothing voice going on.

in a complication

Yesterday i decided to face the truth. End of last year i really feel so tired of the kind of everything and i decided to stop doing everything and try applying to MOE. So I stopped SIM for 6 months. And i applied MOE for don know how many times and didn't get a reply. So i told God "One last time, if i didn't get in to even the 4 years course, it means that it was all not meant to be. And if this place is not a place You want me to be in, close the door completely coz i don want to go to the wrong place." And so i started all the waits...

yesterday i decided i should just call MOE and not wait for the letter and tada.... i got rejected. Mixture of emotions. Of coz i am sad and down and every word you can think of when u r in the valley but at the same time i was thinking at least i know this door is really closed for me coz i really really tried all ways... Oh well i can say with all the retrenchments going on, there are definitely a lot of good people applying with me at the same time but still i believe if it is meant to be it will be.

Arg. so what now? continue w SIM? i hate this kind of thinking game. Jen, how?

But still i think i will try again. coz i really want that cert and that experience...

the jacket

I wanna get this kind of jacket!!!!
i think the first 3 r nice.. :)

RomansChapterEightVerseTwentyEightSays....

Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

I was reading Audacity of Hope and this verse came into my mind. I was on the part whereby the author came across a claim that while in the state legislature he voted against a bill to "protect our children from sex offenders." Of course he was like "what the...???" However someone said to him "Anyway, cheer up, I'm sure this will help you with the sex offender vote."

AND that's how Rom8:28 came to my mind. Yah. All things will somehow work together for those who love God. :) Even if u can't see that it is working. Romans is one of my favourite books in the Bible.

My weekend...:)

Night out on Thurs with twins wj and bl... I ordered this Hoegaarden Forbidden Fruit... look at the glass. I like it... It is Adam offering Eve a glass of something. :)

Looking at the picture on the glass closely.... cute?

And Sunday... we went to a wedding and the lovely Xingni caught the flower.. So she is going to get married next!!! And it is purple flower... :) and on and on Kelvin kept reminding me that i am not young anymore... duh... i will get married before 30. To a good man. and be very happy.

And off we go to Vivo to hang out... HOT day so i decided to abandon my all time food latte and have this all time fattening ice blended something...

Trying to cam-whore.

And the 2 of them joined in... Alan looks like a mushroom. no Mario. i always like pictures with alan popping out from somewhere coz he has the most interesting facial expression. haha... I love alan.

Sunday ended with visiting a new Bar beside SIM... Halo Bar or something. They serve good beer with games like soccer table, and the shooting game whereby the arrow has to hit the centre (forgot what is it called.. Rueyzhen will be laughing @ me), pool, k... etc. New hang out place... :)

Pastor was taking bout beign forgiving and forgetting and moving on. But really sometimes we get stuck in a trench and couldn't get out and watch people moving on with their life with us sulking at the corner. One thing that i ask of God is that i will be more forgetful. Ah... My manager is right. Emotion is a prize for women but can be our greatest enemy too. Let me choose to forgive and forget and be someone with a BIG heart, someone who always move to greater heights. :)

A cuppa plain latte which never fail to make me happy! :) I can't wait to try Melbourne latte. Whenever i drink lattes, i will think of Jennifer!

Haven been blogging for quite sometime was really busy with work! And i was like "Phew...!!!" it's Labour Day = Long weekend = going out = sleep = long jog = chill and book and latte... And i received a sms that we r having external audit next week. There goes my weekends.. ARG...so Xingni, you r definitely not alone working hard.. :)

Being in the ministry for 6 years, you start to appreciate people more. Especially those who walk with you even through the fire. Even when u r in the valley somehow they trust you although you have bruises everywhere and really look pathetic and cannot make it. There are people who come, there and people who go and it is through time when loyalty is tested and proven. There are people who always feel that you haven done enough to help them but they never spare a though to ponder on this question "how can i help MYSELF". There are people who are so so independant that they refuse the help of others.

My Clone

Me and Susan wore same color on Sunday and i decided to take this pic... :)

We only have the people around us for a season. I learnt that recently when Ling Ling left. It was a busy season for both of us and we always try to make time to meet up for a meal and stuff. Unknowingly, she became part of my life and routine that i will call her and find out how she's doing in school every week. I teared a bit when i tot of it the night before she left. So treasure the people and relationship.

Your grace is enough
More than I need
At your word I will believe
I’ll wait for you
Draw near again
And your spirit made me new

Your presence in me
Jesus lead the way
By the power of your word
I am restored
I am redeemed
By your spirit I am free

And I will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And I will worship you here

Freely you gave it all for us
Surrendered your life upon that cross
Great is the love
Poured out for all
This is our God

Lifted on high from death to life
Forever our God is glorified
Servant and king rescued the world
This is our God

Sometimes I don understand why come people can throw their tantrum at you when they are down. And they expect u to be able to take it. If you can’t take it you are either weak or unforgiving. Another moment when they decided that they are ok again, they come to you and tried to be nice and they also expect u to switch to their mood immediately if not you are holding resentment and unforgiving.

Jaded.
Tired.
I need jogging.
I need fresh air.
I need God's strength.
I need anointing.
I need wisdom.
I need understanding.
And understanding from someone.